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Late Night Love [04 May 2008|12:06am]
[ mood | lonely ]

I'm in love... Again.

It's horrible and I know I can never have this person. Never can I have this person.

Oh well. I hate coming into a realization of this caliber. That's what happens when I hang out with a person that i have a crush on for a week. We slept in the same bed! Shared body heat! His face was so close to mine! A sick thought that I should never dwell on. I really need to get over these things.

I need to realize that we will be living together in a month and that we will be sharing that same bed for a year. Something will slip. I know it will. I want to tell... But not until I go off to the army. Not until then.

I don't even know if it will come out then! I want to kill him so bad. Why? Why did I need to let my emotions derail like this? Why even bother writing this down and submitting it? Well... He'll never see it and it's a journal I guess. Safe... Safe to have these thoughts as long as there is no one to talk about for the time being.

Well... I do have myself. But that's not that much help most of the time.

share your thoughts

Bored.... [12 Apr 2008|10:53am]
[ mood | bored ]

It like.... 11, and my room mate is still asleep, so i can't do anything like play a game or... what not. I'm bored. I should be writing my story but i just don't feel like it right now. I don't even remember how to put it up on this place anyways. I need to find a way to delete all of my friends, so they can't all read this though... Hm... Bother!

So... Yeah. Bored... :/

I think I'm going to play Kingdom Hearts once she wakes up though. Or DDR, haven't played that in a long while. EVEN NARUTO! On the PSP though, lol. I'm such a loser!

OMG! The latest chapter of Naruto!!! AH~!!! I can't believe it!!! I'm like, freaking out, yes i know, but I'll get over it! Itachi!!! Sasuke! Madara!!

Oh yeah, went back to liking Sasuke again. I feel soooo bad for him now! I'd take a kunai and rip my throat open if that happened to me!! XD

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Vote-Rigging [01 Apr 2008|04:12pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Some one thinks that I was rigging votes... I'm not sure...? I got that my vote was disqualified so I was like, "Okay... Whatever." But then i re-read what she sent me and got even more confused. What the hell is she talking about? That's bold! And not fair! She hasn't even replied to me!

RAWR!!!

I'm mad, hopefully I'll get over it though! ffhjshfas~!!

XD

Life will go on...

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Lalala [31 Mar 2008|08:13pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I began to write a new story, and I think it's amazing!! ^.^

It's a SasuGaa, which, is very abnormal to me, lol. Considering that I hate Sasuke's guts... But hey. I saw this really amazing picture on deviant art of them kissing~! I'm a loser, lol I'll post it here... When i remember how to, lawl!!!

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Wow.... [29 Mar 2008|09:27pm]
[ mood | impressed ]

I've found this again... It's been soooo long. I was happy to see that my IQ has gone up a little! I was tested and got a 140! 3 point, but who's counting? LOL I'm... Emo at the moment... I just drew two new pictures in a sketch book... One is a guy chained to the wall, his eyes still defiant but... The second one is another guy, laying on a bed. Through his right eye, there is a stake. He's dead or bleeding to death, it can be seen either way. I'm very proud of them, they came out excellent!

Well... Since I've re-found LiveJournal, I'm going to come here more often. I don't care who reads this or who even cares. But, I hope to be happy with myself when writing this. Only two people know who I am on this and I don't talk to either of them anymore... That's fine. I'm still sad though... These two drawings are the best ones I've done in so long and they are so painful to look at. The first one (guy chained up) looks like he's on the brink of tears while the other one looks like he's shocked to be killed in such a way, or to be killed at all.

I'm still proud of myself though... I wonder how I will go about hiding them... I don't know yet.

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?? [02 Jun 2007|12:19pm]
The Naruto Ninja Rank Quiz
Your Result: Jounin
 

You are a Jounin.

Wow- you must be a really great ninja that has much mastery in all jutsus and good personality.
Fellow Jounins are Kakashi-sensei.(though he is a special Jounin, yes)

Chuunin
 
Genin
 
The Naruto Ninja Rank Quiz
Quizzes for MySpace
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Prom [21 May 2007|03:22pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

WAS AWSOME~! Mind you, I was crying my eyes out the first half, but after that, Ryan made me forget everything... He was such a sweet heart. We kissed. Well, he promised me that we would kiss anyways. And that I would get two dances out of him. But, I ended up with like... 20 dances and a few kisses in the end. The first 10 times I tried to kiss him though, I ended up pulling away. He is a guy and it is hard for me... Plus.... HE WAS KISSING BACK~!!!! I'd go in to kiss him and he would close his eyes and go to kiss back~! And I'd pull away, too shocked to go through with it~!

>.<'

It was amazing though. The second half. Holding hands with him and everything... When we slow danced though, you know how the guy holds the girls waiste and the girl wraps her arms around his neck? It was the opposite for me and him at times. I wonder if the reason we never dated before was because he didn't like the fact that I dress like a guy all the time? And this was the first time he saw me in a dress? I have no idea. I'll ramble latter about it more. LOL

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lol [14 May 2007|07:57pm]
[ mood | cold ]


What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]





You are an assassin.
That means you are a proffessional and do your job without mixing any emotions in it. In your life you have probably been hurt many times and have gotten some mental scars. This results in you being distant from people. Though many think that you are evil, you are not. What you really are is a person, trying to forget your pain and past. You are the person who never seems to care and that is why being an assassin fits you good. Atleast, that's what people think. Even if you don't care that much for your victims, you still have the ability to care and to generally feel. It is not lost, just a little forgotten. In crowds you tend to not get to noticed, and dress in black or other discrete colours. You don't being in the spotlight and wish people would just leave you alone. But once you do get close to someone you have a hard time letting go and get real down if you loose him/her.

Main weapon: Sniper
Quote:"The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy" -Jim Rohn
Facial expression: Narrowed eyes
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

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EVERYTHING [18 Apr 2007|10:13pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Wow.... There's so much that I should be saying... But for who to hear it? Some crazy people on this web site who stalk people and find me interesting? Or maybe for a friend who actually cares, even though I only look at this place every once in a while.... For any reason, I want to tell everyone that I'm sick of life and sick of people. They hurt me too much and like to play games with me.

Here, Have fun.

Unforgiving
By: Freez

The rain falls down around my ears, blocking out any of the sounds that I could have heard if I had been trying. All that I can see is the face of the blonde in front of me. I had not thought of the pain that would be triggered so suddenly from the loss of power.

Betrayed…

He looks so peaceful, and I want to tell him very bad what is eating at my soul. I want to scream to him the one thing that I haven’t told anyone in a very long time. But I can‘t. And never will.

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Nerdy? [24 Mar 2007|10:43pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I am nerdier than 46% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

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Suicide Attempt [24 Mar 2007|10:16pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Ok, About that. I was going to drown myself in a freezing cold pond. I loved the idea and was extremely happy about it. But, Chirobi, Lance, had to be the one to bring Michelle over the house. And I thought, 'hey, let's see if she wants to join me!' That was a bad idea. She ended up saying no to it, and pulling me out of the water, crying and telling me she wouldn't let me. Even after she said she never wanted to speak to me again. She hugged me and I fought her. I bit at her and punched her. She wouldn't let go.

I won't lie. I wanted to die. To go into the water and die just like that... I hate her for it. Being so selfish even though she still can't speak to me because of her boyfriend, who hates me now. There's nothing to do now... But watch her and grit my teeth until I'm out of school.

1 thought|share your thoughts

Why should there be one? [19 Mar 2007|11:05pm]
[ mood | blank ]

There isn't much to say at the moment. Once this stupid quarter is up, I will be putting a lot more time into this place. I really need to. It is comforting in it's own way... I'll need to tell everyone all about my attempt at suicide and how I was so rudely stopped. ^.^ We'll save that for later then... Well, might as well go off and post to another meaningless rp that I am in at the moment.

Meaningless, but extremely fun.

4 thoughts|share your thoughts

Unloving [15 Jan 2007|09:00pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

Unloving
By: Freez

“I don’t understand…”

My lips are trembling as the blood of my uncle runs over my hands and seeps into the sand that covers the ground.

“You killed her… She never wanted you… No one loves you…”

His dying eyes must be lying! Please be lying!

“Die now, and love only yourself…”

He then tries to kill me by blowing himself up. All I can do is stare at the sand that surrounds me and protects me. Even from myself.

Then I make it scar me, the only time I ever could make it hurt me. The tattoo of love.

1 thought|share your thoughts

Unforgiving [15 Jan 2007|08:59pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Unforgiving
By: Freez

The rain falls down around my ears, blocking out any of the sounds that I could have heard if I had been trying. All that I can see is the face of the blonde in front of me. I had not thought of the pain that would be triggered so suddenly from the loss of power.

Betrayed…

He looks so peaceful, and I want to tell him very bad what is eating at my soul. I want to scream to him the one thing that I haven’t told anyone in a very long time. But I can‘t. And never will.

share your thoughts

F*** it [01 Jan 2007|12:07am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

You know what? Life sucks!! You want to know why?!?!!? Well now, I'll tell you why. Some girl who lives a few states away from me doesn't even act like i exist. She hasn't talked to me at all. Even after saying that she loves me!!! What the ----!?!??! I hate life and I hate Shelly-sama!!!!! When will she find it appropriate to stop f***ing with me?!?!?!? One minute she's over my house and telling me she has a boyfriend, and the next, we are both f***ing with her boyfriends head and then feeling each other up in bed. ARG!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? HATE IT!!!!



No, wait. Why hate life when you can just hate the people in it instead?

2 thoughts|share your thoughts

Off of Eliz... [31 Dec 2006|11:53pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Testriffic IQ test


I guess I'm close to her, just maybe?
1 thought|share your thoughts

Wow... [31 Dec 2006|11:15pm]
[ mood | rejected ]

Wow, I haven’t been here in a while to talk, and it is understandable mostly. I have had a few problems over the last week and I will now be elaborating on them. One of the main problems would be the family problem. Their constant bickering and hurtful words to my ego are starting to send me off the hook. Not to mention that my mom and her boyfriend have been upset and have been kicking each other out of the house. And while my mom hates me, Mike is on my side for most of the time. It is horrible. Another thing that must be added is Christmas coming up soon. Only a week away now, maybe even shorter. This makes my mom go crazy cause she feels obligated to get Kayla gifts and me even though she doesn’t have the money and is stressed out all the time.

I have been drawing lately though and that makes me happy in a sense. I guess that I thought I would forget, but you can’t forget how to draw. You just need more practice to remember how to when you get back into it. I’ve been drawing my dragons mostly. Cause, they are the only things that I’m really proud of other then my wolves. I started drawing those once I sent a couple to Eliz that one night. I like how they are very cartoon-y yet I hate it at the same time.

Ok… I think I am done ranting for now and then will just write something either fan girlish of a very depressing depiction of life.

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First part of Fanfiction [20 Nov 2006|01:38am]
[ mood | determined ]

This is the first part of the fanfiction that is the one I want to finish first. I might actually finish it if I read it over again and what-not...

Fated Emotions to One's HeartCollapse )

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Work and Life [20 Nov 2006|01:29am]
[ mood | bored ]

Not much to say really today. Other then the fact that work was really hectic and I feel like crap now that one of the best cats in the world have died. ~sigh~ Oh well though, I'll get over it eventually... Poor Tiger though... What a painful end. ~another sigh~ Ok... Ummm... I'll start posting my stories here, ones I have writen and will wright, along with posting up my website... The one that I'm trying to finish at the moment, so that it looks presentable.

2 thoughts|share your thoughts

What heart am I?? [18 Nov 2006|04:28am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I saw this on my girlfriends account... Some sort of test and decided to take it. And, this is what I got. I like it. The result suites me.

Your Heart Is Green

Love completes you, but that doesn't mean you seek it out.
When love comes your way, you integrate it peacefully into the rest of you life.

Your flirting style: Laid back

Your lucky first date: Walking around aimlessly and talking

Your dream lover: Is both enthusiastic and calm

What you bring to relationships: Balance
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